On Discipline

There is no i in discipline. There are 3 of em. 

At least that’s what I read on a communist Facebook meme page. 

After I decided to open up to my family about my condition, sooner than I imagined, they become the other two of my i-s.

They will remind me every single day to take my meds, day and night. They limit our night outs cause they know I should sleep early so that I don’t get cranky and sensitive in the morning.

As far as I notice, they really make effort to be on my shoe. Sometimes, they make fun of it, which is actually cool for most of the time. Cause it makes me feel normal. They really treated it as if it’s an allergy just like how I wrote before. They probably also take notes on my stimulants. During my ups and downs, they will ask me what happened or what am I thinking. Even though most of the time I’m not willing to share the details, they will ask me one simple question, ‘Is someone trying to whisper you bad things?’ 

They really are helping me to become more discipline during medication process. 

My closest surroundings still treated me just like it used to. Apart from my suicidal thoughts which come up too often when I train-commuting, they still allow me to go here and there on my own. But bring my ID anywhere I go become a thing for my family at this moment. Which I found ironically funny cause that means they are pretty aware anything could happen to me, not only accident but also self-harm. 

Despite the fact that my family still trying to connect my illness to some spiritual thingy (read back the very first post), I really can’t complain on how they deal with my illness on daily basis. I start become dependent on them. 

Ps. Knowing that are not that many friends and family support their closest one’s condition, I am fully aware that this post could bring many downs to anyone who have the same problem. We know that it won’t be easy to fight on our own. And I’m so sorry about that. But if you need help, or need friend to talk, please feel free to reach me. Drop your e-mail address on the comment, and I will reach you back.