I have trouble sleeping since I was a kid. I rarely have deep good quality sleep. And this how I managed to do all of my procrastinating stuffs hoarding myself with useless informations through the internet.
I don’t remember when I really enjoy my sleep without remembering my dreams. The dreams that I remember every detail when I wake up the next day.
The dreams are repeating. The oldest dreams are the one from 8 years old me. I still remember every single details, the colour, how scary it is, the heat coming to my body, the cold that makes myself cold still, loud sound I listened that made me cry and let myself wake up tired.
After I went to therapy and take some meds, I finally can have some sleep. But still, no deep sleep. I still wake up at 3 AM, crying for unknown reason, feeling down, thanks to overthink over my life or just over some stupid things I’ve done 10-15years ago. And I just found out, (thanks to my friend who told me) when I’m asleep, I still sobbing, because of my nightmares.
But at least I sleep more than 3 hours a day for the last 6 months.
Trying to sleep itself is already a challenge, but do you know what’s even more harder? Wanting to wake up.
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