On Home

Home is where ever wifi connected automatically.

After living in Bandung for almost 10 years, I finally moved out and decided to really restart my life in Berlin. The reason why I have been absent from my blog-writing was because so many things had to be prepared before my departure. It was frustrating, yet so exciting. No complaints at all, my first few weeks here was amazing.

But Berlin is not Berlin, if one's not struggling to find a place to stay.

Finding a place is a challenging thing, but finding a roommate is another whole new level.

After collecting many wifi passwords and be able to connect automatically, I still haven't find a place called home. A place where I always feel not only comfortable, but also safe. I'm currently living in an overpriced small room in an area called Wedding. With some touch of secondhand IKEA furnitures, this tiny space has become my lair for the last few months. Knowing how hard it is to find a flat in Berlin, I thought, it'd be better if I stay here a bit longer while I slowly trying to find my own place.

But as usual, the universe has it's own plan.

First bad sign which I didn't notice when I did room-viewing before I moved here is a big mural of Marx, Stalin, Lenin, Mao and few other people who I don't know on my kitchen. Yes, I didn't notice, and it was stupid. Second: he has baseball bat with hammer and sickle logo on it. And third: his anger management.

I found out that my flatmate has anger management issue, after he abused his (now ex-)girl friend while I was home. With my limited skill of German, I tried to listen what was actually happening next door. But what happened just brought back my trauma towards my ex. It was crazy, how what had happened almost 3-5years ago, just coming back to me instantly. And in result, I'm terrified with my flatmate and his aggressive attitude. There was one time, I even have no courage to go back to my own room, just because I don't wanna meet him. Crying all day, outside in the park or somewhere while trying to gather my courage to come back home and acting like there was nothing happened.

--I wrote those few paragraphs for quite a while. And as time goes by while I wrote my short story, I finally got a new place. A place with 50 y.o. guy and 40 y. o. lady and 27 y.o. me. We sat together as if there's no age gap between all of us. It was great.

I hope this could me my home soon enough.